Why is ‘Baby Reindeer’ disturbing? Why the Netflix series is not for everyone (2024)

‘Baby Reindeer’, the gripping Netflix show dealing with a comedian haunted by a relentless stalker is proving to be a huge breakout success. It’s climbed to the top of the most-watched lists on the streaming service in the U.S. and UK, from 2.6 million in its first week to 22 million two weeks later.

It hit the spot for author Stephen King, who turned to X to say “BABY REINDEER: Holy sh*t”

BABY REINDEER: Holy sh*t.

— Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 26, 2024

However be warned that while the show is about a comedian, this is not a series for everyone. (It’s definitely not for children, with an 18+ rating.)

‘Baby Reindeer’ is based on British comedian Richard Gadd’s one-man show in London’s West End that was in turn based on his own experience with a stalker who is completely obsessed by him. ‘Baby Reindeer’ fleshes that theatrical show out over a seven-episode series, each running a sharp half hour.

What’s so disturbing about ‘Baby Reindeer’

The short answer for those who don’t want to read any spoilers more about the show, is that it deals with some very dark, disturbing material: obsessive stalking and sexual abuse, including drug-induced sexual abuse. It also deals with mental health issues and trauma. If those subject matters could be triggering, viewers would be advised not to watch.

Warning: spoilers follow

The show deals with failed comedian and barman Donny, played by Gadd himself, who offers Martha, a woman in distress, a drink on the house. She soon becomes obsessed by him, sending hundreds of emails and behaving extremely erratically. As their story progresses, and Donny struggles to deal with the situation - leading to the demise of his relationship to the women he loves - it becomes clear that he has issues that run much deeper than Martha.

This revealed by way of flashbacks to a situation with a comedy writer who grooms Donny, plies him with drugs and then repeatedly sexually abuses him. The show examines why Donny did what he did in that horrifying situation, and why he does what he does in reaction to Martha. Delicately it probes the nature of cycles of abuse and how trauma makes people act in ways that appear, to an outside observer, to make no sense.

Why is ‘Baby Reindeer’ disturbing? Why the Netflix series is not for everyone (2024)

FAQs

Why is ‘Baby Reindeer’ disturbing? Why the Netflix series is not for everyone? ›

What's so disturbing about 'Baby Reindeer' The short answer for those who don't want to read any spoilers more about the show, is that it deals with some very dark, disturbing material: obsessive stalking and sexual abuse, including drug-induced sexual abuse. It also deals with mental health issues and trauma.

Why is Baby Reindeer so disturbing? ›

This is a show I highly recommend, though before you do know that it includes graphic depictions of sexual assault and deals with challenging mental health issues, trauma and abuse.

What's so shocking about Baby Reindeer? ›

However, so all-consuming is his obsession with Martha that he finds himself masturbating over a picture that she gave him of her in her underwear and, in one of the show's most shocking scenes, fantasising over sex with her, as, to his horror, he finds himself missing her endless attentions.

Why is the Baby Reindeer controversy? ›

Although Gadd vocally discouraged viewers from seeking out the real life inspiration for Baby Reindeer characters online at the time, he and Netflix have been criticised for not making the onscreen characters more distinctive from their true counterparts.

Does anyone not like Baby Reindeer? ›

Baby Reindeer is tagged as a dark comedy, and there are certainly comic aspects to it, but it is steeped - almost mired - in tragedy that already I'm hearing as misunderstood by viewers dismissing it as "unfunny." describing the tragic protagonist as "self absorbed" and "lazy." I found Donny neither of these, but ...

What is the shocking scene in Baby Reindeer? ›

However, while he is there Darrien drugs him and sexually abuses and assaults Donny. During the final episode of Baby Reindeer after Martha is arrested, Donny goes and sees Darrien again who offers him paid TV work. Richard Gadd spoke about the final scene of Baby Reindeer and its truthfulness in an interview with GQ.

Is Baby Reindeer inappropriate? ›

Parents need to know that Baby Reindeer is a dark dramedy series about a comedian who becomes the target of a convicted stalker. It's a true story based on creator Richard Gadd and his play of the same name. There are a lot of sexual innuendos and explicit sexual conversations.

What is the trigger warning for Baby Reindeer? ›

Fast forward to episode 4, the viewers are met with a trigger warning stating that this episode contains depictions of sexual violence that may be triggering to some viewers.

What mental illness does Martha have in Baby Reindeer? ›

“Abandonment issues on steroids” is often a sign of borderline personality disorder, and Martha indeed behaved like someone with borderline personality disorder: the intense rage, abandonment terror, threats of self-harm, and rapidly shifting mood.

Who abused Donny in Baby Reindeer? ›

Donny became so enraptured with Darrien's promises that he kept returning to the apartment where, once Donny had been incapacitated by the drugs, Darrien began sexually abusing him.

What is the psychology behind Baby Reindeer? ›

"Baby Reindeer" stages the conflict between authenticity and attachment needs. We often form negative or abusive attachments because we have learned to prioritize attachment at all costs. Getting in touch with our instinctive, protective needs can feel foreign and uncomfortable.

Was Netflix Baby Reindeer a true story? ›

Baby Reindeer is based on the real events that happened in Gadd's life. In 2015, a woman began stalking Gadd. In the show, Gadd's character Donny meets the woman, Martha, as he's working at a bar, and she strikes up a conversation with him.

What is the moral of the Baby Reindeer? ›

There Is No Moral To The Story Of 'Baby Reindeer'

Baby Reindeer covers many sensitive subjects without ever preaching to the audience. It's about loneliness, obsession, delusion, and how male victims of sexual violence struggle to be taken seriously, by society or even themselves.

Why is everyone talking about Baby Reindeer? ›

And with that, “Baby Reindeer” relates to viewers who may have shared some or none or all of Gadd's remarkable experiences; that painful, persistent feeling of “Why me?” that isolates a person in distress because no one has shared their specific trauma.

What's the fuss about Baby Reindeer? ›

What is Baby Reindeer about? The autobiographical Baby Reindeer was originally written by comedian Richard Gadd for the Edinburgh Festival. The show, which debuted on Netflix on 11 April, details Gadd's claims that he was stalked by a woman, receiving more than 40,000 emails and hours of voice messages.

Is the Baby Reindeer actor the victim? ›

Yes, Baby Reindeer retells the true story of the stalking and harassment Scottish comedian Richard Gadd endured at the hands of a middle-aged woman who goes by the pseudonym Martha in the Netflix series.

What is triggering about Baby Reindeer? ›

Trigger warning: This show deals with themes of violence, sexual assault, transphobia, and grooming. Like most of the internet right now, I decided to watch a show on Netflix called Baby Reindeer.

Is Baby Reindeer triggering to watch? ›

Prior to reading this article, it is important to note that the show Baby Reindeer covers some triggering topics, such as, stalking, mental illness, drug use and sexual assault.

What's the drama with Baby Reindeer? ›

After Donny gives Martha a drink for free, Martha becomes obsessed with him, sexually assaulting him in the show's second episode and later bombarding him with phone calls, attacking his friends, and harassing his parents with false claims of child abuse.

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